Grief & Loss Therapy in New York City
I help adults in New York carry grief and loss — not by rushing you past the pain, but by honoring it, making meaning of it, and helping you move forward in a way that stays true to what matters to you.
Grief & loss therapy — scope at a glance
Grief isn't only about death. It's about everything that mattered.
Grief takes more shapes than we're taught to expect.
Anticipatory grief
Complicated / prolonged grief
Disenfranchised grief
Ambiguous loss
Delayed grief
Life-transition loss
Honoring the loss. Making meaning. Moving forward on your terms.
I don’t believe grief is a problem to be solved or a set of stages to march through. My work honors your pain rather than rushing you past it — we make meaning of the loss, and, when you’re ready, we look at how to move forward in a way that acts in accordance with your values rather than around a hole. That’s drawn from meaning-centered and acceptance-based approaches, supported by the emotional-regulation tools of DBT for the waves that feel unbearable. And, as always, I’ll gently reflect back what I’m noticing, so you’re never doing this alone.
Who this work is for.
What patients are saying on Zocdoc
“I have seen Nicole for about 2.5 years. Every single session with her had been very helpful and eye opening.”
“I have been working with Nicole for what feels like forever. I can't remember a time before Nicole! Meeting with her has become such a grounding place in my week. She's incredibly understanding and open to what you have to say. And at the same time, she is wonderfully straightforward and practical. She's able to bring all my worries, stressors, and insecurities back to reality and help me see what's truly going on. I highly recommend!”
“Nicole is a fantastic therapist and I can't recommend her highly enough. I've worked with her for over a year now and she's helped me build much better management strategies for the stress of life, health issues, and political uncertainty. Above all, I appreciate Nicole's practicality, and it's probably why I've worked with her so long. She helps me realize what I can and can't control and how to cope with that which is outside my control. She's a great listener and usually each session highlights at least one change in behavior we can try the following week to see how it helps. She also holds me accountable in a loving yet growth oriented way, such as highlighting when I repeat the same actions repeatedly despite talking about change.”
“Nicole has been my therapist for about a year and a half now, and I feel more capable of confidently dealing with life's stressors and uncertainties as a result. She has a non-judgemental and welcoming approach to therapy that makes it easy to open up to her. I recommend!”
“I've been working with Nicole for some time now and I can say that she truly cares for her patients. She has given me perspective on situations in my life as well as practices to implement. Overall, I've felt a significant improvement to my quality of life after having worked with her.”
“Nicole is personable, knowledgeable, kind, and fully invested in her patients. I always feel seen and hear by her, even in the moments where she nudges me to push beyond my perceptions and perceived limitations. Working with her has undoubtedly improved my relationships, my day to day and ultimately my mental well-being.”
“I have been seeing Nicole for months and have noticed a huge improvement within my life. She is attentive, patient and reassuring. Every session she makes sure I feel comfortable and understood. I highly recommend!”
“Nicole is an extremely thoughtful, empathetic, and skilled clinician who has helped me through many challenging life experiences. Nicole fosters a safe and supportive environment while also encouraging me to push myself in order to meet my goals.”
“Nicole is incredibly patient and excels at understanding/accepting multiple truths, even if contradictory while working to find a path forward. Nicole understands how to leave blank space and push when necessary. These are aspects that you would cherish from a great friend. 10/10.”
“I want to highlight the two years I've spent working with Nicole as my therapist. Nicole is truly exceptional. When I first came to her, I had a clear set of issues I wanted to address. From the beginning, she created a safe space where I could be vulnerable. What sets Nicole apart is her dedication. She didn't just listen — she went above and beyond every week, researching anything she felt she could deepen her understanding of. Nicole is deeply well-versed in a range of topics and therapeutic approaches. She views every challenge as an opportunity to grow, which, in turn, helped me grow and tackle the issues I was facing.”
“After my first therapist at this practice moved on, I started seeing Nicole on a weekly basis. I appreciate how authentic and honest she is while listening and helping me process the different topics I bring to our weekly sessions. She helps me understand different aspects of my life by pushing me to think beyond the surface and go deeper into my own understanding of self.”
Nicole Trister, LCSW
Grief & loss therapy in New York — FAQ
What are the "stages of grief" — and will I go through them in order?
Most people have heard of the five stages — denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance — but they’re widely misunderstood. They were never meant to be a linear sequence you move through and complete, and grief rarely cooperates with that kind of order. You might feel acceptance one morning and anger by the afternoon, or move through them out of sequence entirely, circling back to places you thought you’d left behind. There’s nothing wrong with that; it’s how grief actually works. Rather than treating the stages as a ladder to climb, I think of them as different textures of the same process — each one telling us something meaningful about what the loss holds for you.
Why does my grief keep coming back when I thought I was doing better?
Because grief tends to come in waves rather than a steady, downward slope. You may go days or weeks feeling more like yourself, only to be caught off guard by a song, a smell, an anniversary, or a quiet moment when your guard is down. This doesn’t mean you’re regressing or grieving “wrong” — it’s the natural rhythm of loss. Over time, the waves usually come less often and with less force, but they can still arrive years later, and that’s okay. Part of our work together is learning to meet those waves without fear, so they no longer feel like something has gone wrong.
Is grief something I'm supposed to get over?
I don’t believe grief is something we get over so much as something we learn to carry, and eventually to fold into the larger fabric of our lives. Loss changes us, and honoring it — rather than rushing past it or pushing it down — is what allows it to find its rightful place. The goal isn’t to erase the person, the relationship, or the life you’re grieving, but to build a life that has room for the loss and for meaning alongside it. In our work, we make space to understand your grief, to feel it fully, and to let it become something you hold with compassion rather than something that quietly runs beneath the surface.
Can I grieve something other than the death of a person or a pet?
Absolutely — grief reaches far beyond death. We grieve the end of relationships, the loss of a job or a career identity, a home, a chapter of life we didn’t want to leave, or a version of the future we were certain we’d have. We can grieve the life we wish we’d lived, or long for a time that felt more whole. These losses are often disenfranchised — meaning the people around us don’t always recognize them as grief — which can make them lonelier and harder to name. They are no less real, and they are just as worthy of care and attention as any other loss.
I feel guilty, relieved, angry, or something I don't want to admit — is that normal?
Yes — and you’re far from alone in it. Most people move through some variation of difficult, even repugnant-feeling emotions during complicated loss: relief, anger, resentment, guilt, or feelings they’d never say aloud. These aren’t widely accepted in the way we’re “supposed” to grieve — they don’t make it into the conversations we have or the captions we post — so we tend to bury them as parts of ourselves we deem intolerable. But repression doesn’t quiet these feelings; it strengthens them, and it compounds them with shame. Therapy is often the one space where all of it can be spoken and genuinely honored, no matter how big or messy. Much of the work is dismantling the shame around what you feel, because the more we can allow the full spectrum of grief — including its least flattering parts — the less disturbed and consumed by it we become.
When you're ready to set some of the weight down, I'm here.
Consultations are held privately and by inquiry.